Week 11

 This week's topic of discussion was parenting.

Purpose of Parenting

    The purpose of parenting is to provide children a safe environment to learn and make mistakes, protecting them so they learn to survive and thrive in the world. This idea comes with several other phrases that need defining, such as 'protect'. To protect a child is to give rules and guidelines that will keep them safe. To 'prepare' a child is to allow them to participate in tasks with you, allowing them to learn and use skills for life by doing them, even if the tasks takes a bit longer by doing so. To 'survive' is training your children about safety, especially when it comes to interactions with other people, driving, and so on and so forth. To 'thrive' is to be able to live comfortably in the world in which they live, now, later, and in eternity. 

Teach Your Children

    When it comes to what a child needs to learn, I think the most important are these; 

Courage; teach your kids to be courageous, to act in spite of fear, to act not knowing the outcome, but trusting all will be well.

Self-esteem; teach your kids to have a a high self esteem, that being the confidence in one's ability to succeed, the knowledge of ones own weaknesses and shortcomings, and the ability to succeed in spite of weakness.

Responsibility; the ability to make decisions and accept the outcome, regardless of what that might be. 

Cooperation; the ability to work with others towards a common goal. 

Respect; treating others as worthwhile and valuable. 

    Knowing these important lessons, one might wonder how to teach and develop them. The best way is to encourage your children to go about experiences that they might fear or be anxious about, allow them to see what they are capable of, help them to build their courage and confidence by giving them experiences. You will learn more by going and doing that you ever will in a lecture. 

Needs Approach

    Children have certain needs that must be met if they are to grow and thrive successfully, those being contact and belonging. When it comes to contact, this includes any contact ranging from physical touch to eye contact. Contact is often much harder for boys to get because it isn't seen as acceptable to hug, this results in their being more interested in play wrestling and sports. Dancing is another means of physical contact as well as an opportunity to interact with the opposite sex in a way that isn't sexual. Eye contact is also a beneficial means of contact as well as taking a genuine interest. Moms are a lot better at providing the gentle, emotional contact while Dads are more inclined to play contact. Belonging comes down to an individuals ability to contribute and make a difference in a group.  There are instances in which these needs are not met, often resulting in failure to thrive in younger age groups and attention seeking behaviors in older age groups, those being rebellion and a desire to control others. Human beings can never get enough of what they don't need, poor behavior and the result of it will not satisfy a child in need of contact and/or belonging, only the fulfillment of those needs will result in improvement. When it comes to behavior, prevention is always better and easier than correction. 

Parental Approach

    Parents have a responsibility to provide for the needs of their children, this means it's important that contact is offered freely, children are given opportunities of contributing to the home, they are shown consequences rather than sat through long lectures, and they are given choices appropriate with their age  and circumstance. They need choices as well as consequences, even if the consequence is not the easiest to navigate.